completely loved.

i am unfinished
but beautiful,
because it is You
the one who is
writing my story,
because it is You
who weaves me
with threads of
hope and grace,
because it is You
who whispers at
my ear and tells
that even though
i am incomplete,
i am completely loved.

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tell your story.

don’t keep quiet.
go, and tell your story.
sing it from the rooftops
and shout it from the mountaintops.
write it in the sky,
tattoo it on your skin
and braid it in your hair;
tell your story.
don’t let it go unheard,
because there is wonder
in your story,
there is grace in your
redemption,
because your words
are stepping stones
to freedom.
tell your story.

Written for and inspired by my friend Tawni.

i don’t want to move.

i don’t want to move
i don’t want to go
i don’t want this song
to ever end
i want to breathe You in
i don’t want to leave
i want to revel in your grace
and i don’t want to move
because i want this to
last forever
i want to stay with You
and sway to the
rhythm of your love
i don’t want to move
because i fear
that this moment,
this sliver of heaven,
this glimpse at glory
will never come back.
i don’t want to move.

walls.

i could pretend that i
never met You
and i could live
ignoring your presence
and i could just
put my walls back up
and never let You in
but i know i would
still hear your voice
calling my name,
calling me home
i know i would
find your face
in the stars
i know You would
hide in my everyday
i know You would
be the warmth of
the sun
and in the light of
the moon
and in the coolness of
the rain
and i know
You would
knock down
those walls
i put up.

beautiful.

maybe you won’t find me beautiful
because of my hair
or my lips
or the color of my skin
maybe you won’t love
the way i walk or the way i dress
but i hope you fall in love with
the words in my soul
and the fire in my heart
and the myriad of stars in my eyes
and the wonder and grace that
are tangled in my hair
and the bravery that is
locked up in my bones
and the unfading beauty
of my spirit
and if you think that’s
beautiful,
that is enough for me.

Written on January 3rd, 2014. I hesitated about sharing this poem because I felt vulnerable writing it. But I’m sharing it because it is true, and because it is okay to put yourself out there every now and then.

running.

maybe i keep
running away from You
because i am afraid
to let You love me,
maybe i keep running
because i don’t want to
believe that grace and
mercy are waiting for me
maybe i keep running
because i know i don’t
deserve what You
want to give me and maybe
i keep running
because it’s not fair
that You keep chasing me
but i don’t want to run;
i want to stay trapped
in your heart
and know by heart
the rhythm of your breathing
i want to never escape
the stronghold of your embrace
i want to stay and never leave
and never wander and never run.

bravery.

bravery doesn’t
happen overnight
bravery
has been living in your
bones, dormant,
but alive,
waiting for you
to see that it has
always been yours
waiting for you
to marvel when you
see that you can do
what you’ve always
wanted to do
and be who
you’ve wanted to be

i wonder.

sometimes on bright days
when i can’t stop smiling,
when i look up at the sky
with a sparkle in my eyes
i can hear your voice
and i feel the scars you
left on my heart
and i wonder if the sun
is shining for you too
i wonder if the same hope
that is nestled in my heart
lives in yours too
and sometimes i wonder
if the last words
i said to you visit you
at night just like the pain
you gave me sometimes does
but mostly i wonder
if you’re happy
i wonder if you have love
i wonder if the memories
of the short amount of bliss
that we had make you smile
i wonder if you’re okay
and honestly, i
hope you are.

I wrote this poem for someone who I really looked up to and one day, unexpectedly, stopped having contact with me. I never knew why, and I still don’t. For a long time I was bitter about it, and it took time to forgive that person and to trust others. Forgiveness is hard, but it’s so much better to live without that burden.

maybe.

maybe this year i’ll learn how
to ride a bike so i can go
where You tell me to
maybe i’ll learn to swim
so i can dare to dive into You
maybe You’ll teach me what it means
to trust You with my whole life
maybe You’ll teach me to
be a lionhearted girl
and maybe i will learn that
it’s okay to cry
and maybe i’ll learn to find
your face in the night sky
and to listen to your voice
in the sparrow’s song
and maybe i’ll learn to love You
with all my heart and my mind and my soul
and maybe You’ll teach me
to swim in the sea of grace
and maybe i’ll learn to just breathe
and be still and let You guide me
down this narrow road.